The Geographical Cure
Yes, moving from Florida to Pennsylvania heals.
As a kid living in suburban Philadelphia, I dreamed about living in a tropical climate. Growing up playing soccer, my teammates and I would joke around and talk about what we thought the fields would be like in Florida. Would there be sand underneath? I can confirm now, years later, that yes, all of the fields have sand.
When I think back on my childhood I remember hating winter. Bundling up and no matter what, having cold fingers and toes. Having a flushed face with a red nose and ears. Never wanting to be outside. Missing wearing flip flops and shorts. Wondering what it would be like to wear a bathing suit all year round.
After I graduated college in December 2007, it was once again, a cold winter, and the last thing I wanted to do was become an adult and get a 9 to 5. Thus started my quest to live in a warmer climate, my first destination being Cancun. I lived in that tropical paradise for 5 years, and most of you know that’s where I met my husband and got sober.
I absolutely loved being able to take a quick bus ride to the beach, living so close to the crystal clear blue water and white sand that everyone traveled to Mexico just to see. My friends and family would post on Facebook about being sick of the snow and I would feel grateful that I never had to shovel my driveway or wear snow boots again.
In 2014 my husband and I decided to leave Mexico and move to the U.S. We picked Florida because it was close to Mexico and had similar weather. We ended up in Cape Coral where my parents were snowbirds. After getting sober in 2013 I began to feel like something was missing during holidays in tropical climates. No matter how many palm trees with Christmas lights or blow-up Santas I saw, the fact that there was never snow or chimneys with smoke coming out, just felt off.
We lived in Florida from 2014 until January of this year, and at first, it was great. We traveled back to Cancun often to see Fer’s family and our friends. Fer went to fire school and became a firefighter/EMT, eventually getting hired by the city for a very desirable job.
In January 2023 we left it all behind to move north to Pennsylvania.
The question I am asked the most is WHY?!
The consensus is that most people aspire to move and live in Florida, not leave Florida and go north. And I agree, all I ever wanted to do as a teen and 20-something living in Pennsylvania was leave. However, life happens. Tragedies occur. And things change, including mindsets about tropical climates.
Florida was a culture shock for both of us. Fer being a Mexican living in the U.S. for the first time, and me, a liberal suburban Philly girl finding herself perpetually confused at all the big trucks, pictures of people holding fish on boats, and of course - the Trump-loving hysteria.
While we didn’t fit the political or cultural climate in Florida, each year it became harder and harder to swallow and co-exist with some of our peers. Then, children came into the picture and we started thinking about the school systems and what a mess those were. Add in horrific weather, house issues (mold, hurricanes, storm damage), and debilitating heat, and we were just over it. Last year, we began talking about moving and where we could and would like to go.
It started as a dream and a wish. Shaking up our entire lives had to be worth it, and my husband did most of the research and planning for this big change. While I was pregnant with Dario we made the decision to relocate — back to the suburbs of Philadelphia where I grew up. This involved job searching for Fer, selling our house, buying a new house, and picking a timeline (around the birth of our 2nd child) to make it all happen.
When we picked Pennsylvania, we knew we’d be agreeing to the four seasons, snow, and not being as close to a beach. What we were going for was a more open-minded political landscape, better-rated schools for our kids, a place that didn’t typically get hurricanes, where homeowner’s insurance was cheaper, and where we already had a village of friends with kids who were and are, always willing to help.
It felt like a big decision, but it felt right. Some people didn’t understand our choice to move. Some thought it was a hasty and irresponsible thing to do. Some thought we were running away from our problems. Some thought it was a wonderful and exciting new adventure.
In the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, there is a phrase known as the “geographical cure,” and it’s mentioned in the Big Book a few times. It basically says that relocating from one location to another cannot fix the issues that are inside of you. While this might be true about drinking problems, I know firsthand that it can also work.
When I moved to Mexico in 2009, I didn’t think I would end up getting sober there, but I did. I left Pennsylvania in my 20’s to run away - from snow, from responsibility, and from drinking. Cancun forced me to reconcile with who I was. It pushed me deep enough into my addiction that I finally desired a way out. And in that way, it was the cure I needed.
In late 2022, after surviving a direct hit from Hurricane Ian while I was eight months pregnant, we put our house in Cape Coral on the market. The devastation we saw our city go through following the hurricane was something we never want to experience again. We sold our house and closed in January of 2023, while simultaneously buying a house in suburban Philadelphia (site unseen for me!)
When we arrived here it was the dead of winter. Everything was gray and there was no leaves on any trees and I hadn’t seen that type of landscape in years. My heart skipped a beat and I wondered, “Did we make the right choice?”
We’ve settled in and so far, we’ve experienced winter, spring, and summer in PA. I can’t tell you how good it felt to wear sweatshirts and sweatpants, and to be hit in the face with a gust of cool air when walking outside instead of the incapacitating heat.
While I still have my problems - I am estranged from my only sister, I need parathyroid surgery, I am managing postpartum depression and anxiety, insurance is expensive af, and I still get sick frequently, this geographical shift has been a game-changer.
Once you get sick of the current season, the next one is on its way. I haven’t felt like I hate the cold, as I once did in my teens and 20s. I am back together with my childhood best friends and get to be moms with them all. We get to be outside playing as a family in our backyard and surrounding parks more frequently than we ever were in Florida because it’s not as hot.
It’s been a journey of joyful nostalgia and readjustment. The last time I lived in Pennsylvania I was not the same person. I was addicted to alcohol and adrenaline. Nothing was enough for me.
Today, having just undergone one of the biggest geographical cures of my life, I realize what it’s like to live here as an adult, as a mom, and as a sober person. Ironically, none of the stuff that bothered me about living in Pennsylvania as a young person bother me now.
I’m enchanted by old farm houses and mountains. I love living a short drive away from Lincoln Financial Field and Citizens Bank Park. I like being able to spend kids birthday parties with my friends. I love rocking in a chair on my front porch. This week I got to see my college soccer team play.
So, maybe sometimes the geographical cure does work. And, hopefully the Eagles win the superbowl this season.
